Broken Inside (IN THE PROCESS OF BEING REMADE)
by DarkNWriter
Summary: This story is one of my favorites to write, and I am remaking it. The first 1-5 chapters will be the same, but other then that it will go a different path. Kames,some Cargan, a little Ket, rape. Might continue and make it a full fledged story. James couldn't take it anymore. He needed Kendall. Don't own pic.
1. Broken Inside

DarkN: Ok...its my first Kames and I'm a little nervous...

Kendall: why?

James: Probably because its her first rape story thing too.

DarkN: yeah...so disclaimer.

James was relaxing by the Palm Woods pool, well _trying _to at least. But, a certain blonde haired teen kept invading his mind. He wanted to claim that pale skin, that smooth and pale skin. He wanted to claim what no one has, not even _Jo_.

Kendall's virginity.

He wanted to mark Kendall as his, and his only. But, he held back for the sake of his and Kendall's friendship.

Now, he can't take it any longer. He sprang up from where he was sitting, scaring Guitar Dude who was playing two chairs down the row from James. James took off in a sprint towards the lobby, and headed for the elevator, but got stopped by the last person he wanted to see. Camille.

The girl.

Who could talk.

For.

_HOURS!_

''Uh hi Camille, I just gotta get to my erm...room.'' James went to get passed Camille but she stopped him. ''James, have you seen Logan? Or Carlos?'' James shook his head. ''No why?'' Camille shrugged. ''Oh...no reason.'' Then she took off in a sprint around James and into the pool area. '_Thank you god!_' James thought as he got into the elevator. He waited until he got to his floor, then he took off into a sprint to 2J. He almost broke the door when he threw it open. He slammed the door shut, then he listened. _Carefully_. The only thing he could hear was the sound of Kendall playing his guitar. He took off into a sprint towards his and Kendall's room. He kicked open the door, surprising Kendall. James stalked forward and pushed Kendall up against the wall, making Kendall's guitar fall to the ground, snapping the neck. James looked into Kendall's eyes, which were fulled of fear and confusion. Kendall went to say something but James smashed his lips onto Kendall's. The kiss wasn't kind, or passionate. It was rough, and forceful. James was able to force his tongue into Kendall's mouth, and it explored every inch of it.

Kendall attempted to try to get James' tongue out of his mouth, but ended up failing miserably. One of James' hands went down to cup Kendall's crotch, making Kendall erect. James forcefully tugged off Kendall's shirt and pants, leaving him in only his boxers. James bit down of Kendall's lower lip, making it bleed. James sucked on the bottom lip. Kendall's blood, tasted like honey and caramel. James quickly undressed himself, then he tugged off Kendall's boxers. James positioned himself at Kendall's entrance. Hot tears pooled out of Kendall's eyes. James licked them away. ''It will only last a second...'' Kendall closed his eyes, waiting for the searing pain. James smirked and grabbed a hold of Kendall's erect cock and tugged. Kendall's eyes shot open, hot tears ready to fall out of those beautiful green eyes. James slide into Kendall, with no preparation. James started sliding in and out of Kendall, tears falling from the blonde's eyes. James is tearing Kendall's virgin hole, blood was dripping down Kendall's legs and onto his bedsheets. James started going faster, tearing Kendall more. James felt like he was in heaven. Kendall felt quite the contrary. He felt like he was in hell. He felt torn, broken on the inside. He felt like a whore. He didn't know why James was doing this, he honestly didn't. Kendall started whimpering, and soon sobbing. James moaned at the feeling of Kendall's tight walls around his cock. He loved it. When he hit Kendall's prostate, and Kendall screamed in pain, he quickly covered Kendall's mouth. Kendall, who decided to fight back, bit down on James' hand. Hard.

James pulled his hand back and slapped Kendall on the face, leaving a mark. ''Quiet!'' James barked. Kendall whimpered and put a hand up to where James had slapped him. It hurt to touch. James' hair was matted down and plastered to his face. Kendall's bangs hung loosely and some strips of hair were plastered to his face. James suddenly gave a huge thrust, and he bit down of Kendall's neck, making it bleed. James spilled his essence into Kendall, making Kendall's walls white. James pulled out of Kendall and let Kendall's body drop onto the bed. James picked up his clothes and put them on. He watched as Kendall slowly curled into a ball. ''Don't ever forget this,'' He leaned down and whispered in Kendall's ear. ''You're always mine.'' Kendall's eyes widened but he didn't say anything. James left and Kendall soon let the darkness fall over and he became unconscious.

Carlos came back to 2J about an hour and 15 minutes later. He walked past Kendall and James' room but the door was opened a crack. Kendall and James' door was NEVER open a crack, it was always closed. Carlos peaked into the room, he saw Kendall naked and bleeding from his neck, lip, and...ass? He ran over to his friend and looked him over, he saw cum coming out of Kendall's ass too. Realization hit Carlos. His friend had been raped! But how? No one had keys to 2J besides the people that need it. Could someone have broken in? Carlos wasn't sure. ''Don't worry buddy.'' Carlos said as he took out his cell phone, to call Logan and see if they need to take Kendall to the hospital. ''We'll find out whoever did this to you, I promise.''

DarkN: So...tell me whatcha think, and I might make this into a full fledge series! R&R


	2. Another BORING DAY

DarkN: Well, since I got a lot of positive response for this story, I'M GOING TO CONTINUE IT!

Kendall and James: NO!

DarkN: YES! SO WE ALL GET TO WATCH THIS STORY BLOSSOM! :) Lol Disclaimer.

When Kendall opened his eyes, they were quite blurry and staring up at a bright ceiling light. ''What the hell someone turn that off.'' He murmured groggily. His bottom lip felt stiff, like he had stitches on it. When he touched it with one of his fingers, it really DID have stitches on it. His neck had gauze wrapped around it, and it looked like it needed to be changed. When he went to sit up, a shot of pain coursed through him, coming from his lower area. ''Ghng..'' He muttered in pain. Were is he? It looks like a hospital. But why would he be in a-?

That's when it hit him. James, biting his neck, the _rape_. The tearing of his hole...

The _pain_.

The absolute _searing pain _he had felt as James plowed into him. Just the thought about it made hot tears start to drip out of his eyes. He felt a soft and warm hand push him back onto the bed. Kendall started to panic. Was it happening _again_? Was a nurse or somebody going to _rape him _just like James had because he's vulnerable? Kendall started to push against the hand but another pair, this time a pair of rough and cold hands started pushing him back. Kendall fought against them, which only led to more pain from his neck, and lower area. ''Stop...STOP!'' Kendall yelled as he lashed out against the hands, whacking one of them in the face.

''Kendall honey please calm down...'' Came a familiar sounding voice. It sorta...soothed Kendall in a way. ''The doctors are only here to check on you.'' Kendall finally recognized the voice. His mom. Kendall finally relaxed and let the doctors push him back down onto the bed, the pain of Kendall's neck and lower area subsided. ''Kendall, we repaired what we could to your...er...area.'' The doctor said sorta uncomfortably. It looked like to Kendall, the doc. Was used to telling that to females.

No surprise there.

''There was some broken tissue in your neck and lip that we had to repair also. With that said you need to stay another night, just so we make sure you don't do anything drastic with the new stitches in place. After tomorrow, you won't a loud to play any sports, ride skateboards, rough house, or anything like that until the stitches are healed.''

''But what about BTR?'' Came a another familiar voice from the doorway.

It sounded like Carlos.

The doc. Sighed. ''The only thing Mr. Knight here can do for that would be to rehearse new songs. But he's not allowed to jump around or do anything like that until the stitches are gone. Now, Mr. Knight, do you remember who did this to you?'' Everyone's gaze turned on Kendall, waiting for an answer. James gave him a look that said, _if you tell, I'm going to fucking hunt you down and kill you_.

Kendall gulped. ''I-I don't remember... its all a blur.'' He heard a few people sigh. He knew he had disappointed them by not telling them who it was, but he just...couldn't. Especially because of that death glare James just sent him. ''Mom, can I come in now?'' Came Katie's voice from behind the door, out into the hall Kendall was guessing. Ms. Knight, and Logan moved out of the way for Katie to get in. She squeezed in and ran to Kendall and hugged him. ''Are you ok bro?'' She asked worriedly. Kendall could only crack a smile.

''I'll be fine Katie...don't worry about me.''

''How can I not? Some grade A a-hole raped you!'' Kendall say James somewhat stiffen at that comment. The doctor glanced at his watch, then looked up. ''Visiting hours are over, say your good-byes and go.'' Katie gave Kendall a hug, and Ms. Knight kissed his forehead. ''Night, Kendall.'' The guys said before following Ms. Knight out of the door.

Kendall sat up and brought his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He barred his face into his knees. What does James have planned for him tomorrow since he's coming home and they have to share the _same room._ He was still confused on why James had raped him...

Kendall felt empty inside now...like nothing will ever fill the space. He didn't felt like this yesterday...well...before the rape at least... Now it feels like...there's one part of life he's missing and will always miss. Is it..._love_? Or is it simply just sex? Kendall wasn't sure...but he knew one thing for sure.

That the 'one time' rape, would turn into molesting. He was sure of that. Especially since he and James share the same _good damn room_, and James was known for his addiction to sex.

He knew James was only going to use him for sex. He'd basically be a whore to James. Someone he could fuck without James having to pay Kendall. A tear dripped from Kendall's eyes. That was **not **what he wanted to be to somebody.

He didn't want to be a sex toy. He wanted to be loved and cared about. Not just a quick and easy fuck. He hated his life. A nurse came in a moment later, frowned and forced Kendall to lay down on the bed. ''Try to sleep, ok?'' She said sweetly.

Kendall could only nod groggily. It only took a second for Kendall to close his eyes and drift into sleep.

**With the others**

''I hope the find out who ever did this to Kendall! Because they, WILL PAY!'' Carlos yelled as they walked through the parking lot to the car. James fidgeted a little. He didn't like the feeling he got when they talked about James raping Kendall, although they don't know James raped Kendall. It made him feel funny. He got what he wanted. He had taken Kendall's virginity. It just seemed it wasn't enough. ''James, are you going to get in the car?'' James was jerked out of his thoughts by the sound of Logan's voice.

''Of course I am.'' James said as he got into the car and shut the door.

**Time skip...the next day before Kendall's departure. **

''Well, it sleeps the stitches are holding well...in er...both areas.'' Kendall nodded. ''Come back in about a month to get them taken out.'' Kendall nodded, making a mental note to tell his mom. ''Well...see you in a month Mr. Knight.'' Kendall got up from the chair he was sitting in, slowly. Then he walked out to the parking lot, and saw Katie and Ms. Knight standing out by the car. Carlos was there, and Logan was too...but it seems like someone's missing.

That's when it hit Kendall.

_James._

Where could he be though?

Kendall's insides twisted. '_He's planning something_.' Kendall thought. Something bad. Kendall got into the car and on the way back to the Palm Woods, his stomach got tighter and tighter. ''Mom...pull over.'' Everyone looked at him in surprise. ''Why?''

''Just. Do. It. NOW!'' Ms. Knight quickly turned the car onto the shoulder of the road and unlocked the doors. Kendall threw the door open and spilled his lunch and breakfast onto the side of the road. Logan, who was sitting in between Carlos and Kendall, rubbed Kendall's back sympathetically. Kendall hurled one more time before he shut the car door and whipped his mouth on the edge of his shirt sleeve. ''You ok Kendall?''

''Yeah...just a little sick I guess...'' Ms. Knight looked at Kendall, then she pulled the car back onto the road.

Once to the Palm Woods, Kendall, Logan, and Carlos walked up to 2J, while Ms. Knight and Katie went to the store. When they got into 2J, Kendall was somewhat pleasantly surprised to see James just sitting there on the couch. '_Maybe he __**isn't **__going to do anything to me._' Kendall thought, although he knew that wasn't the case. ''Hey, whatcha watching James?'' Carlos asked as he plopped down besides his friend. ''Grown Ups.'' James replied as he watched Adam Sandler shoot a arrow into the sky and scream, ''I LOST IT IN THE SUN!'' and a blonde haired dude yell, ''I LOSE!'' before running away from the circle, along with Adam Sandler, Kevin James, and Chris Rock. The only dude left was the one with the toope. James, and Carlos laughed. Logan smiled at the scene and sat down besides his boyfriend (Carlos). Kendall couldn't help but smile and sit down besides Logan and watch the rest of the movie with them.

**About 2 Hours Later, when Ms. Knight and Katie came home.**

When Ms. Knight and Katie got home two hours later, they was surprised to see the boys asleep on the couch. Logan's head was leaning on Carlos' shoulder and Carlos had a arm wrapped around Logan's shoulders. James was slumped in the chair and Kendall had completely fallen over and his face was barried into a pillow. Ms. Knight smiled and motioned at Katie to not wake them up. Katie nodded and left to her room, and Ms. Knight soon departured to her own room after kissing each boy on the forehead.

DarkN: Yesh its longer than the first chapter but it is very short. I SWEAR TO GOD THESE CHAPTERS WILL GET LONGER! I PROMISE! :) Also, I don't plan on having James as dark as he was in the first chapters but he will be VERY dark in other chapters. Also, yes I DID bring the Cargan shipping into this. There will be SOME chapters were its just Logan and Carlos and I might add some sex scenes for the shipping too so, what I want to know is, do you want Logan submissive and Carlos dominate or Logan dominate and Carlos submissive? Or do you want them to take turns? R&R


	3. Unexpected Visitor

**Okay next chapter! Thank you to everyone who favorited and reviewed. **

When Kendall awoke he wasn't in the living room where he had fallen asleep. Oh no he was in the one place he didn't want to be.

His room.

Which he shares with _James_.

Feeling a little nauseous, Kendall sat up slowly and looked towards James' bed. James was facing the wall and was fully clothed. Kendall was somewhat relieved. But, when he got up and walked to the door, and grabbed the handle firmly in his hand, he felt strong arms wrap around his middle. Oh shit.

James kissed Kendall's neck lightly and started licking a patch of skin that made Kendall whimper. ''Mmmmm where do you think YOU'RE going Kendall?...'' James muttered in his ear seductively. Kendall let out another whimper as James removed his hand from the doorknob and led him over to his bed. ''Lay down and stay here while I go to check to see if anyone's home.'' When James left, Kendall hoped to heaven that someone _was _home. But that didn't seem to bed the case when James walked in and pounced on him like a cat pounces on a mouse. He kissed Kendall hard and started licking down his chest and captured one of his nipples in his mouth. Kendall let out a sharp gasp.

''P-please stop James...'' Kendall cried. James froze where he was. Did he want to stop? Did he want to let go of Kendall's sensitive area and just let Kendall go? Even though he could run to anyone and tell them anything that happened today? No Kendall wouldn't do that. Or would he? Then James remembered the stitches Kendall has and sighed. '_We can't have real sex_.' James thought. '_Since he has those damn stitches_.' James let go of Kendall's nipple and sat up, where he straddled Kendall's hips. He leaned down close to Kendall's face. ''_Remember_,' He hissed through clenched teeth. ''That if you say _anything _about what happened today, I will murder you. Got it?'' Kendall nodded frantically. ''Good.'' James got off of Kendall, who scrambled to get to the door and darted out.

Tears streamed down Kendall's face. '_He was going to do it again, he was going to do it AGAIN!' _Kendall mentally screamed. Kendall ran into the living room and into the kitchen, where he proceeded to grab a knife. He brought it up to his wrist, and slide it across his wrist, where a thin line of blood appeared. He looked at it, and watched it drop onto the floor. Drip, drop, drip, drop, drip, drop. He added another line of blood, it seemed that cutting washed away all of his pain.

The pain of being raped. Another line.

The throb of pain in his heart knowing James was doing this. Another line.

James, who he thought was his best friend, raping him... Another line.

Five lines of blood, as the blood dripped, it seemed to have washed it away. Kendall got up shakily and cleaned the knife off, then he darted to the bathroom where he got some gauze and wrapped it around his wrist. He pulled the sleeves on his shirt down and walked out. He saw James sitting on the couch when he got into the living room. James looked up from what he was watching and looked Kendall up and down. ''What happened to you?'' He asked. Kendall looked at his feet. ''I- Nothing.'' H shook his head and sighed. James let out a grunt and turned back to the TV.

Kendall just stood there, hesitant. He wanted to sat down but yet again he didn't want to sit anywhere close to James. James sighed. ''_Look, _Kendall, just sit down. I won't harm you.''

_For a while anyways. _He added silently to himself. Kendall blinked then sat down on the edge of the couch. He fidgeted uncomfortably, it was dead silent as they watched _Drake and Josh_.

When he heard the door open, Kendall almost wanted to jump and embrace Logan and Carlos into a hug. '_THANK GOD THEY'RE BACK!'_ Kendall thought. ''Hey guys.'' He said, trying to not make it sound like there's relief in his voice. ''Hey Ken Doll.'' Carlos grinned. ''Loggie, Carlitos.'' Kendall stuck his tongue out at those two. The two laughed. ''Kendall don't make me cut your tongue out.'' Logan said smirking. ''Ooh I'm _so _scared.'' Kendall joked. Logan and Carlos both rolled their eyes.

''You should be, because I can sew it back in backwards.'' Kendall's eyes went wide. (His face- O.O lol) ''You wouldn't do that!''

''Yes I would.'' Logan grinned. ''No you wouldn't cause my mom would kill you.'' Logan shrugged. ''I'll take that chance.''

''Oh wow, you know, for a straight A student you aren't very smart.'' Kendall said plainly. ''Hey, I can't be smart _all _the time.'' Kendall opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by James.

''You know, I hate to break up your little 'argument' but I'm getting tired of this.''

Logan, Carlos, and Kendall looked at each other and laughed because James was laying face down on the coach, a pillow over his head. ''Okay Jamie Pamie we'll stop.'' Carlos said.

''Don't call me that,'' James grunted. ''Fine fine pussy, if you can't take the heat of having a little nickname then we won't call you anything at all.''

''Its fine with me.'' James said, sitting up, bringing out his lucky comb and bringing it through his hair. Carlos rolled his eyes, then got an idea. A playful smirk appeared on Carlos' face. ''Oh dear lord what's he gonna do now?'' Logan whispered, shaking his head.

As if his question was heard, Carlos' hand darted out, snatched James' lucky comb from his hands, and he darted away, giggling like a mad man. ''Carlos get back here!'' James yelled as he ran after Carlos. ''Gotta catch me first!'' Carlos giggled. Logan sighed. ''Carlos give James his comb back!''

''Never!'' Carlos yelled and now Logan was in the chase. Kendall sat down on the coach, eating popcorn (**A/N: I have no fucking idea where he got it from lol**), enjoying the chase.

When Ms. Knight and Katie got home, the chase was _still _going on! ''Uh whats going on?'' Katie asked as she walked over to her brother and sat down besides him, grabbing a handful of popcorn out of the bag.

''Carlos stole James' lucky comb and now those two are chasing him.'' Kendall said, not taking his eyes off of the action. ''How long have they been at it?''

'' 'Bout an hour.''

''Shouldn't they have stopped by now?''

''Nope, look.'' On the boys head's were hats that had a water bottle attached to the sides of the hats and a tube coming down from them. ''I see, when did they have time to get those?''

''When they ran through Logan and Carlos' room.''

''I see.''

Ms. Knight was almost plowed over by the three. ''Boys stop this instant!'' They ignored her and she sighed. A knock was heard at the door. ''I'll get it.'' Kendall said, getting bored of the chase. He walked over to the door and opened it, his eyes widened at who he saw in the doorway.

''Jet?''

**DUN DUN DAAHHH! :D Yay an update! Sorry I haven't updated in a while, my school is _finally _over! :) I know its short but I promise it'll get longer! ^-^ R&R**


	4. The Kiss

**Another update yay! I'm on a role, :D Disclaimer.**

Ms. Knight and Katie looked towards the door in shock. Logan and James stopped where they were and stood gaping at the door, well, until Carlos ran into them. Then they just hopped up and stared at the door.

''Hi Kendall.'' Jet said, giving him that million-dollar smile**. (A/N: No I'm not a Jet fan . I just think that's how people see his smile) **''What do you want Jet?'' Kendall asked, leaning against the door frame.

He's still mad at Jet for what he did to him almost a year ago.

''I heard what happened,'' Jet's face turned into one with the up most sympathy. ''I'm sorry.'' Kendall sighed. ''Its _fine_, and how'd you hear about it? Let me guess, Jo?''

Jet shook his head. ''No, not from Jo. Believe it or not, from the Jennifer's. Everyone's worried about you Kendall.'' Jet said looking at Kendall. ''No they aren't Jet. Why would they be worried about me?''

''Because-'' Jet stopped, and looked embarrassed about saying what he's about to say. ''You're a really cool guy Kendall, you're friends with everyone and will help anyone who needs help. They're worried because sometimes after people get raped they shut down completely and don't act like their old selves. If you did that, we'd probably all shut down.''

''You guys were fine without me before we moved to the Palm Woods.'' Kendall said nonchalantly. ''Yeah but everyone was in chaos before then. You kinda keep things under control.'' Jet said, rubbing the back of his neck. He was _obviously _embarrassed about saying this to him.

Now that Kendall thought about it, he kinda agrees with Jet. ''Alright, okay well thanks for stopping by.'' Kendall said as he began to shut the door. ''Wait-!'' Jet exclaimed as he shoved his foot in between the door frame and the door. ''What?'' Kendall asked as he glared at Jet. ''Kendall...can you-?''

''Can I what?''

''Umm er...Kendall I'm just going to say it, do you want to go on a walk with me?'' Those greenish-gray orbs of Kendall Knight flickered with an emotion which Jet couldn't tell what it was, and surprise. ''Please Kendall?'' Jet almost pleaded, which he refused to do.

Kendall sighed. ''Fine...I guess I will.'' Kendall didn't see the glare James was burning in the back of his head. Jet smiled. ''Great.''

Kendall glanced over his shoulder. ''Mom, I'm going out.''

''Okay Kendall, be safe.''

Kendall stepped out of the room, and shut the door behind him. Jet grabbed his wrist. ''C'mon.'' He said as he started dragging Kendall down the hall. Kendall was glad that Jet couldn't feel the lump of gauze under his shirt.

Jet's stomach was doing flips and spins. Wow! Kendall actually agreed to go on a walk with him! He couldn't believe it! He thought Kendall still hated him over what had happened nearly a year ago. '_I'm sure he's over it..._' Jet thought.

Once they got to the garden, Jet slowed his pace. They both stopped and Jet let go of Kendall's wrist. Kendall rubbed his wrists and gave a half-hearted glare at Jet, who didn't see it. The two began to walk through the garden, and when they thought the other wasn't looking, they'd look at the other, smile and look away.

It was pointless though.

Since the other wouldn't see it.

Kendall smiled to himself and closed his eyes after a while. '_This is nice_,' He thought, '_Jet's actually being nice...this is probably the nicest time I've had since James raped me_.' Kendall thought and forced back the tears. '_Don't cry, just stay happy..._' Kendall said as he opened his eyes, the smile staying on his face.

''So...Kendall.'' Jet drawled as he shoved his hands in his pockets and gazed at him. ''What have you been up to lately?'' Kendall shrugged. ''Eh...nothing much, you?''

''Working...acting...the usually.'' Kendall chuckled and the base of Jet's neck turned red and he pulled up the collar of his jacket so Kendall wouldn't see.

The two continued their walk until Kendall felt a raindrop. He looked up only to get hit in the face by more raindrops, before it started to down pour. ''Ah!'' The two yelped before they both started laughing and ran under a nearby tree.

The two huddled close together, both cold and shivering and laughing. ''Weirdest day ever.'' Kendall laughed. ''How so?'' Jet asked looking at Kendall. ''Well, Carlos stole James' lucky comb then James _and _Logan started chasing him, then you came out of the blue and asked me to go on a walk with you. Not that I mind,'' Kendall said, a light blush staining his cheeks. ''Now I'm huddled under a tree with you while its raining.'' Kendall shivered. Jet laughed. ''I guess it is a pretty weird day for you.''

''Yep,'' Kendall said before he sneezed and started to shiver uncontrollably. Jet noticed this and took off his jacket. ''Here,'' He said as he put the jacket over Kendall's shoulders. ''Thanks,'' Kendall said as he wrapped the jacket around himself tightly.

''No prob.'' Jet said as he stretched and put a arm around Kendall's shoulders. Kendall blushed and Jet laughed.

'_This is nice...I'm here with one of my crushes under a tree and he has a arm around me and I'm wearing his jacket..._' He thought, smiling.

The two sat there in comfortable silence for a while before Kendall asked. ''How long,''

''Hm?'' Jet hummed, looking at Kendall. ''How long are you staying?''

Jet was taken aback by the question. ''Probably two months.'' Kendall nodded. ''Okay,'' He sighed. ''Why?'' Jet gazed at Kendall, confused. ''Because...I'd like us to have walks like this more...often.'' Kendall smiled. Jet smiled back. ''I'd like that...'' And at that moment, the rain stopped and it started to lighten. Jet couldn't help himself, Kendall looked so beautiful, sitting there under the weeping willow tree, his bangs wet and hanging in front of his face, droplets shinning at the tips, reflecting light into his eyes, making them turn a beautiful emerald green color. Him just sitting there wrapped in his coat, and looking so pure so innocent. He doesn't know how anybody could rape this pure little angel of light. So pure and bright...those puffy beautiful lips raised in a shinning smile. He couldn't stop himself from leaning down and...

kiss him.

**AHAHA! :) ANOTHER CLIFF HANGER! And believe it or not I typed this all today. I started at 7:00 and ended at 12:42. My school's out so yeah. R&R**


	5. The Discussion

**Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed. Oh and who favorited! :) I'm on my second day of summer break and if I keep this pace up, I'll have a lot of updates. :D Disclaimer.**

Kendall's eyes went wide as he felt Jet's lips on his. And...he actually liked it. And he wanted to deepen it, but his body didn't because he felt his hands pushing Jet away lightly. ''What the hell?'' He said questioningly at Jet. ''Why did you kiss me?'' He asked, somewhat furious.

''I uh...I um...'' Kendall narrowed his eyes at Jet. ''Uh...''

''I'm outta here,'' Kendall said as he stood up, shrugging Jet's jacket off, he didn't care that it landed in a mud. ''Wait Kendall!'' Jet said as he grabbed Kendall's wrists. Kendall glared at him. ''Let go,''

''Whats wrong Kendall? How come one little kiss made you all mad?''

''Because you won't tell me why you kissed me, and also because I was raped not even two days ago and now all a sudden I'm being kissed.''

''Okay wanna know why I kissed you?''

''Yes, Jet, I want to know why you fucking kissed me!''

''Because you looked beautiful!'' Those words caught Kendall off guard. ''You looked so...so beautiful sitting there under that Weeping Willow tree...You hair was wet and rain was on the tips, making your eyes look like a beautiful emerald green. You looked so...pure...so innocent. I didn't know how could anyone rape you, a pure little angel of light. I couldn't stop myself, I'm sorry Kendall.'' Kendall's heart turned to mush at the kind words that came from Jet's mouth. ''Kendall?'' Jet asked, tilting his head to the side. Obviously, Kendall had spaced off. ''Yes?''

''I'm...sorry okay?''

''Its...fine Jet. Just don't try to kiss me again, or I'll have to slap you. Okay?'' Jet laughed. ''Okay, and we should probably get you back to 2J. You're mom's probably worried about you.'' Kendall looked confused, before he watched Jet take out his phone and show Kendall the time. Eight thirty-three. Wow, time sure does fly.

''Yeah, we probably should.'' Then the two walked back to the Palm Woods in comfortable silence, and when they got to 2J, both of them had to keep themselves from kissing each other. ''Well...night Jet.'' Kendall said as he grabbed the door knob. ''Kendall...'' Jet said as he lightly grabbed Kendall's wrists. He gazed at Jet. ''Yes?''

''Would you mind...coming over to my place tomorrow night? At say... four? You know...so we could um...hang out?'' A light blush stained the base of Kendall's neck. ''Um uh yeah, I'd be happy too.''

''Great!'' Jet smiled. ''See you tomorrow!''

''Yeah,'' Kendall smiled, ''See you tomorrow.'' He then turned and opened the door, then slowly closed it. ''I hope Jet bought you dinner.'' Kendall jumped and turned around to see Ms. Knight. ''Umm no mom, he didn't.'' Kendall stuttered. ''Then why were you gone so long?'' Ms. Knight said as she crossed her arms over her chest. ''We went to the garden...and it started to rain so we sat under a tree.'' Kendall said, shoving his hands in his pockets. ''I see, well, there's left over pizza in the microwave.''

''Why the microwave?'' Kendall asked. ''So it stayed warm, duh.'' Ms. Knight kissed his forehead. ''I'm heading to bed early, night.'' Ms. Knight said before walking to her room. ''Night mom.'' Kendall said as he made his way over to the microwave and grabbed the plate. He lightly poked the pizza with a finger. ''Still warm.'' He hummed aloud as he sat down and ate the pizza. When he was finished, he put the plate in the sink, turned off the lights and headed down the hall to the room he shared with James. He opened the door and quickly changed, changing the gauze while he was at it.

He went to climb into bed when all a sudden, the light's flipped on. He flinched and looked towards the doorway, where a figure was standing. ''Kendall...you're back.'' James growled. Kendall flinched. ''I saw that kiss you and Jet shared.'' Kendall bristled.

''You followed us?''

''Yes.''

''Why!'' That earned Kendall a slap across the face, sending Kendall flying. ''Because you left with fucking Jet the dude who you said you'd never forgive!''

''Well I forgave him! And I might forgive you too if you stop this shit you're doing!'' Kendall yelled back to James. James growled and grabbed Kendall's chin and made him look in the eyes. ''You will not speak to me, understand?'' Kendall bit James' hand. James yowled in pain, and before Kendall could get away, he grabbed Kendall and shoved him against one of the dressers. Kendall yelped but his mouth was covered by James hand. James reached over and rummaged through his dresser before he grabbed a four of his belts, tied Kendall's legs together with one, and his hands together with the other. Before he tied Kendall's arms together, he took off Kendall's shirt.

He then, he took another belt and rolled it up, before putting it in Kendall's mouth, sorta like a gag. 'What's he going-?' Kendall's thought was cut off as his back began to burn. He screamed through the gag, although it was muffled. ''Disobedience will not be tolerated Kendall.'' James said as he hit Kendall on the back again with the belt. Kendall screamed again and James continued the onslaught on Kendall's back until Kendall's back was covered in dark red welts and was bleeding in a few spots. James untied Kendall's legs and arms, and took the gag out. Kendall's face was covered in tears and he let out muffled sobs. James started planting kisses on the welts, and it seemed to somewhat soothed the burning sensation in his back.

The next thing he felt was a nice, cold balm being put on his back. 'Why's James doing this? He abused me and now he's trying to be nice to me and take care of me?' Kendall thought. ''Sit up,'' James ordered and Kendall froze, tensing up. James sighed. ''Kendall, please sit up.'' Kendall decided he'd be better off doing what James asked. He sat up, and flinched in pain. James sighed and began to wrap gauze around Kendall. ''Kendall...'' James whispered. ''I don't like doing this to you...it pains me.''

''Then why do you do it? Why did you rape me and why did you just hit me?'' Kendall asked, somewhat furious. ''I...I raped you because I love you and I...wanted to be the one who take your virginity, no body else...I just wanted it to be me. And the hitting...I don't want you to get hurt Kendall.''

''If I get hurt James, then I'll learn. You can't protect me from the world. I'm not even your boyfriend, usually that's what couples do for one another. And if you like me so much, then why didn't you just ask me out?''

''I-I...''

''Of course James, 'I-I...' wow, pathetic. I bet I know what you were thinking while you raped me, 'oh Kendall's not going to mind, because I'm James Diamond. Everyone wants to go out with me and won't mind if I take their virginity, even if they're saving it for someone special!'' The end ended up being somewhat yelled. James was taken aback. He didn't know Kendall was saving that for someone. He heard sobs. He turned towards Kendall to see him sobbing, his head bowed. ''Kendall I didn't know-''

''Of course you didn't know! Carlos and Logan knew! EVERYONE knew! Everyone knew I was saving that for something special, Jo knew, sheknew and she stayed with me, even though she knew she wasn't going to be the one to take it. I had someone special in mind and no it's all gone. Thanks a lot James.''

''Look Kendall, I'm sorry.''

''No James, you aren't sorry. You got what you want. You're satisfied, now you're trying to make it all better. Thinking the ''James Charm'' will make it all better. Well it won't.''

''Then what will Kendall?'' James yelled.

''If you just leave me alone and stop acting like a asshole and let me live my life like I want too! Let me date who I want to date! Maybe then you'll be forgiven.'' Kendall pulled the blankets over himself and turned away from James.

''But Ken-''

''Good night James.'' Kendall hissed. James sighed and turned off the lights before going to bed himself.

**I know I know I'm mean, XD Always ending it in cliff hangers. Well atleast I'm updating, right? This literally took me about an hour and twenty-eight minutes to make. R&R**


	6. Truth

Jet stands up as I near him. "Hey," he begins, hair damp against his forehead. I have no idea where he's been, and do not really care right now. All that matters is that he's here. I walk up to him and kiss him back on the lips. He freezes, but soon kisses back. "What was that for?"

"For always being here for me," I say against his lips. I feel his hands settle at my hips. Why does this feel so comfortable? It was never like this before.

What's changed?

Jet presses his forehead to mine, and grins. "Why, that's no reason to kiss me."

I smile. "Fine then, I'll find someone else to go make out with." I say and begin to walk away, when he stops me. He presses our bodies together, and molds us together. Jet's mouth is firm against mine.

"No no stay..." he whispers, wrapping his arms around me, locking me to him. I couldn't get away even if I tried.

I smile before joking lightly, "Make up your mind."

"My mind is made up and I want you to stay." Jet says, tightening his grip on me.

I tap on his arm, "I can't breath!" I say. Jet let's go of me and mumbles "sorry". I pay his arm, "Hey it's okay. Not your fault you're strong."

"I'm not strong," Jet chuckles, "You're just incredibly weak." He then sits down.

That statement hurts me. Me? Weak? Even after...getting raped?! "Me?" I begin, trying to keep venom out of my voice. "Weak? Jet, I would think after everything that's happened, you of all people wouldn't see me as weak!" I snap.

He stays quiet, "I didn't mean it like that." Jet then looks me in the eyes, "And you know it."

I cross my arms, and glance away, "Maybe I do, maybe I don't. But still, you shouldn't have said it." I try to stay calm. But it's hard, when your heart is thumping against your ribcage. My breath catches in my throat, as Jet stands up and walks up to me.

He locks eyes with mine, and grabs my shoulders lightly, "Okay, I'm sorry for saying that, okay? Can we just...forget it?"

"No."

I turn on heel and walk away from him, not wanting to see the look of sadness on his face.

I wrap my arms around myself, as I walk through the garden towards the Palm Woods. Jet's words ring through my head. 'Can we just...forget it?' Forget it? He called me weak. A weak person would crumble under the idea of being raped, muchless it happening, and they still being able to carry on.

To me, I'm not weak. To me, I'm the strongest anyone can possibly be.

I walk into the Palm Woods lobby and head to the elevator. I hit up and when the door opens, I run into someone.

James.

"Hey! What's the... Oh...uh...hey Kendall..." He says uneasily. A lump suddenly appears in my throat. I step in and hit two. The doors slide shut, trapping me inside with James. We sit there in silence before James says, "Um...I'm sorry."

"James..."

He flicks a piece of hair out of his eyes. "Kendall, please be quiet for a lil, okay? Please just...let me talk."

"Why should I let you?"

He sighs. "I don't know. Just...please?"

I cross my arms and stare at the doors. "Okay, you have until we reach the doors of 2J."

"That's all I need," James says. He takes a deep breath. "I've liked you ever since we were 14, Kendall, just never had the guts to ask you out. Because you know...you are, or were, my best friend. I didn't want to lose that." There's a lot of things I want to tell him, but don't.

"What I did to you was horrible, and I know that. I've known that for a while...and I just want you to know I am truly sorry. I wasn't thinking right. I'm sorry," the doors open. "That's all I have to say," he whispers before walking about.

The doors slide shut as I turn to the wall, let out a scream, and bang my head against it. Why the hell does this have to happen to me? Why do I have to be so confused? Why do they have to leave me wondering what happened?

I rub at my eyes as the doors open, and...Camille walks in. Great, just what I need.

A headache.

"Hey Kendall," Camille says. I just nod. "How are you feeling?" I shrug and Camille takes the hint and goes quiet.

"Goodbye Camille," I say as the elevator arrives on my floor. I don't get a response, nor do I expect one.

I walk to 2J and open the door to see Carlos punch James in the jaw. "You son of a-" Carlos begins.

Not wanting to see anymore of this, I run in between them, and yell, "Stop!" Logan, who was standing nearby, stands there with his eyes wide. My body trembles as Carlos lowers his fists.

"K...Kendall? What are you doing?" Carlos asks, shocked, but trying to force back a predatory growl.

I flinch, "Don't hurt them..."

"What do you mean "don't hurt him"? He raped you and left you there to bleed out in that room. Then he watched as you struggled to get back to normal."

"I don't care what he did! Just don't hurt him!"

"Then you're no better than he is. My god, Kendall, why did you tell anyone?" Carlos asks as he pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Because it doesn't matter! I've forgiven him, and you should too." I turn to James, who's nursing a bloody nose.

"Forgive him? Kendall..."

"Just do it, okay?" I ask as I head into the kitchen to get a towel. I come back a moment later and press the towel to his nose. He lets out a slight hiss. "Just keep pressure on it, and the bleeding will stop." He nods. "Why don't you go clean the blood off of you before it dries?" I ask him. He looks me in the eye, nods, and then heads upstairs.

I turn to face an angry Carlos and an astonished Logan. "Why are you forgiving him? It took you a long time to forgive Jet and what he did wasn't nearly as bad as what James did." Carlos growls.

"I forgave him because I remembered what he did for me in the past-good things." I tell them as I walk into the kitchen and to the sink to get his blood off of my hands. The water turns pink as it mixes with the blood.

It makes me want to puke.

"Okay, so, you just remember that stuff and bam! You forgive him?" A skeptical Logan asks. I forgot he was here.

"No, he also told me he was sorry, but did not ask for forgiveness."

"I see," Logan says dryly. "You know, I sometimes don't get you. But fine-we won't tell anyone James raped you, since it's not our secret to tell. Have fun with your rapist," Logan says before taking Carlos' hand and walking out, leaving me in 2J with James.


	7. I Need To Be Punished

"How do you feel?" I ask as I lean against the door frame to the bathroom, my hands shoved in my pockets. After Carlos and Logan left, I kinda just...stood there in the living room, not really sure what to do. I mean, what am I SUPPOSED to do? Run after them and explain to them that I'm confused, and why I'm doing what I'm doing?

No, I can't, and won't do it. If they were real friends...I wouldn't have to chase them down. I wouldn't have to explain ANYTHING! They would know me well enough to look past their own blinding rage to see why I'm doing what I'm doing and it's only for the best of the group. But, they don't see it like that.

When do they ever?

James' left hand clenches the now pink towel that's lying on the counter, as he pokes tentatively at his nose. He winces, but I'm sure it's not from the pain lacing up his nose. I'm sure it's a mix of things, but I know what most of them probably start with.

Me.

"So, how DO you feel?" I ask again as I study him. He shifts hesitantly on his feet, like he doesn't know how to respond. I cock my head back. Since when is he weak and nervous? Always jumpy? If I remember correctly, that's me.

"I've felt better," he says slowly, like it's not the right thing to say. "But hey...Carlos can pack one hell of a punch," James adds as blood begins to trickle down his nose. I notice it, and step forward, turning him towards me. He clenches the towel tighter in his hands. "Kendall..." James begins, but I ignore him. I slowly take the towel out of his hand, and wipe his nose with it. I don't know why I'm doing it, it feels like I have an obligation to do it.

Even though he wasn't the one who got raped by their best friend, I was.

James grabs my wrists, and whispers, "Please leave. I don't need you babying me, especially after all that I've done to you. I don't deserve it." He let's my wrists go, but looks me in the eyes and says firmly, "I can take care of myself. YOU should be the one being taken care of. I know," he begins, "You got your stitches out, but you are still...fragile. I'm not. Please...just...leave," James says. I blink at him, and slowly nod.

"Alright...but you'll know where to find me..." I say, before heading out the bathroom and heading downstairs, sliding the door shut with a soft click as I go.

~*(BTR)*~

I hear Kendall close the door with a soft click. I turn back to the sink and grip the edge of the counter, staring down at the sink. I stare down at the marble, and take a few deep breaths, body trembling. Why did he do that? Why did he forgive me? Why did he wipe the blood off of my face? He shouldn't be forgiving me! What the hell is wrong with him?

What the hell is wrong with ME?

I lift my gaze towards the mirror, and tremble as I see my reflection. It's not me. It's not the person I wanted to be. I never wanted to do this. I never wanted any of this to happen. But one foolish mistake has ruined everything. Literally, everything. I've lost everyone I have ever held dear to me, and am afraid of making the same mistake again. Kendall's forgiving me, and I should not have been forgiven. He should have been screaming about me that I'd never be forgiven, that I'll always be the one who hurt him the most. But he has forgiven me. And it pisses me off because of how stupid he is! No one would EVER forgive their rapist if this were them!

I raise my fist, glaring at the mirror, and letting out a scream of anger before smashing my fist into the mirror. The glass shatters and falls onto the counter. Obviously, what I just did, did not alarm Kendall. Or, he just didn't hear it. I'm hoping it's the latter. My body continues to tremble, as I look down at my hand.

Blood pours over my knuckles and skin, before dripping into the drain. I don't feel any pain. I don't. It feels...like a release. I wonder... I scour around in the drawers, trying to find a razor blade, or SOMETHING. But I come across only gauze, and some peroxide. Hm...

I sigh, and grab the gauze and peroxide, then dress the wound on my hand. Even though I know I should just wash it off, and leave it undressed, since I don't believe I should be allowed to have luxuries like this, after all that I've done. I deserve a lot worse. A whole lot worse.

I just got to find the right person to give me the punishment I rightfully deserve for what I did to Kendall.


	8. Is That All You Got?

**Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed! I know the chapters are short, but what can you do? Sorry once again.**

I pause, before knocking on the door of the one person who I know will give me punishment...

The door opens and my gaze meets his. "James," he says, voice bitter. I wonder if he knows what I did to Kendall? "What a..._pleasant _surprise. What can I do for you?" He leans casually against the door, arms crossed over his chest.

The corner of my mouth twitches slightly, as I push him back away from the door, step inside, and close the door. "James, what are you-?" He begins to ask, but I cut him off.

"Do you know who raped Kendall?" I ask him.

"Of course not, no one does. And if I did, I would turn the son of a bitch in." He says. A shiver runs down my spine. _He would turn me in if he knew. _I think to myself. _Maybe I should just turn around, and leave, tell him it was some big mistake. He won't help me...Or, maybe he will?_

I raise my gaze to his, as I say, "What if I told you I raped Kendall?"

He looks at me like I'm insane, and then begins to laugh. "Nice try, James, but you're one of Kendall's _best friends. _You wouldn't do that...Would you?" He says.

I step towards him. "Yes I would, Jett. I may have been one of Kendall's best friends, but that doesn't mean I'm not capable of raping him," I say, before laughing slightly, "Oh come on, Jett, I thought you were smart. Well, at least somewhat smart. You should have _seen_ how Kendall reacted whenever you spoke my name. You should have _seen _how Kendall acted around me. But you didn't," I say with a lopsided grin. I know I'm taunting him...tempting him to strike...but I need to feel pain. And hopefully he'll give it to me. Come on, Jett. Where's that fiery spirit that was so adamant about putting me in jail before? "So, what'cha gonna do, tough guy? Turn me in? Let the police deal with me?"

I watch as he clenches and unclenches his fists. Come on, do _something! _Or do you need more fuel to the flame? Even though it's tearing me upside inside, I grin wider, and say, "Boy, Jett, you have _no idea _how _amazing _Kendall felt around me. You have no idea how beautiful Kendall's screams felt to my-," I don't get to finish that sentence, (and I'm thankful I don't) as Jett finally unleashes his rage and punches me in the jaw. Hard.

I feel blood begin to fill my mouth, and I spit it out onto the floor. I look up at him, only to meet a gaze full of fire. "You _sick_," he says as he kicks me in the ribs, "_Twisted,_" in the gut, "_Bastard!_" He shouts at me, as I spit more blood out onto the carpet.

"Oh?" I ask, loving the feeling I get as I try to stand up. "Does little Jettie has a crushie wushie on Kendall?" I cock my head to the side as I grin slightly. "I bet this is tearing you up inside, knowing that I was Kendall's rapist the whole time and _you never even knew._"

"Shut up!" Jett says as he punches me in the jaw. I stumble backwards into the door. "Just shut the fuck up!" He shouts, pointing a finger at me, "You have no fucking right to speak!" Jett says as he racks a hand through his hand, and passes, as I slump to the floor. Jett stops, looks at me, and grins, "You are in some _deep shit now Diamond._" Malice is evident in his voice. "This is going to ruin _you _and_ your career_." Jett's smile is one I have never seen him wear before.

And it frightens me.

"I wonder how Big Time Rush will do without you." He tells me with a cock of his head. "I hope they can get on fine without you, because once I turn you into the police, well..._you'll be going to jail._"

I stagger up, and spat at him, "You can't turn me in."

"Why can't I?"

"Kendall will hate you."

That gets him to stop. "No, he won't."

"Yes he will..." I tell him slowly as I step towards him, "You may think you know Kendall, but you don't know him like I do." I cock my head to one side, "He will absolutely hate you if you turn me in." I raise an eyebrow, "And if you're wondering why...it's because he saw earlier what it was like when something likes this comes out. It tears everyone apart," my lips twitch slightly, "And you know Kendall, he doesn't want that."

"Looks like I'll have to settle with punishing you myself," he says as he cracks his knuckles, and glares at me. "What a..._fitting_, punishment," he says with a growl.

I limp away from Jett's room, and now know just how to get his goat... I feel blood trickle down my chin and I don't bother to wipe it away. What's the point of cleaning something before it gets stained?

You tell me once you figure it out.

I lean heavily against the door to 2J, and fumble with the doorknob. I pray to god Ms. Knight is not home. If she is...oh boy...

I almost fall flat on my face as the door falls open. I feel three pairs of eyes land on me. "Oh my god...James...what happened?" I hear Kendall ask.

"Nothing," I tell Kendall before heading upstairs, slipping past him.


End file.
